Ohhh bollocks

Hey all, currently sat in hospital waiting for my taxi home after my ultra sound…thought I’d write another post.

So the eurologist (bollock dr) has said he things the damage in my left bollock is because of my testicular torsion (random twisting of a bollock) in 2014. I disagreed as I have never had pain before the accident and I defiantly didn’t have a great area!

He has sent me back for another ultrasound, which brings us today. For all of you kinky mofo’s reading this, I’m going to talk about the downsides of KY lube!

I get here early and I expect quite a wait, fair play to Aintree I was in 20 mins before my appointment time.

 So I’m sat there playing on my phone and hear my name. I look up and there is a pretty blonde nurse. I thought ‘feck sake, embarresing enough getting my balls out in front of any normal person never mind her mauling with them’, back in the day I would get my tackle out for everyone after 8 pints.

So I go in, it’s the older woman I have seen before, relief flowed through me. Thoughts Like ‘I bet she seen a fair few set of bollock in her time

“Get undressed from the waist down and lay on the bed”

She get the KY lube out, puts about 8 tonne of it on top of my bollocks. Cold as fuck…i reckon most of my bollocks went into hiding. She starts scanning. “Blow your cheeks out as if your trying to blow a balloon”. Now i have my balls out and I look like a dick! 

She adds more lube so she can see better, carrots on scanning, at this point I can feel the initial lube trying to escape down my gouch. Well to cut a long story short, being a bloke and having 6tonne of lube making it’s way over your ring price is not funny and it’s not comfertable!

She said I was all done and I spent the next 5 mins mopping up all the lube pretty much every where. 

Hope you all enjoyed my slightly awkward post about my go nads. 

Laters.

Jon

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